Tag: memoir

The God of Small Things

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The god of small things

By Arundhati Roy

I have always had this book on my TBR list and was excited to read it when I got the paperback. I have heard so much about the book before reading it. I thought I already knew the spoilers, but it turns out Arundhati Roy wrote it that way.

Before reading the book, I must say I have watched many interviews of the author – about the book and about her activism. I have liked her, I have grown fond of her, the way she articulates her thoughts, how she unapologetically and confidently expresses her opinions. I did go through her Wikipedia page previously to know more about her. When I started reading the book, I was confused to find her story in the starting chapters. It turns out, The God of Small Things is a semi-autobiographical novel.

I have now read this book at a time when her memoir Mother Mary Comes to Me has been launched and received a warm welcome. (I might pick up the new memoir someday.)

What’s the story about?

The God of Small Things won the Booker Prize, making Arundhati Roy the first to receive it for a debut novel. The story narrates the childhood and adulthood of twins (two-egg twins, as she stresses enough), and how their lives change entirely within a few days. I have a hard time condensing the plot without giving spoilers. The most important thread of it all is the life of the twins’ mother – her decisions, her childhood, and the love she had chosen – and how all of it was overpowered by the God of Big Things.

Things I must say

I loved the rich narration of Arundhati Roy; her writing was truly transformative. It is sad that the book still stays relevant today, given that casteism plays a major role – the Big Thing in the lives of the characters.

The brilliance of embedding comedy and a child’s perspective into such a serious and nerve-breaking theme is what made me understand the reason behind the wide acclaim for this work. I must say I wasn’t planning to write a glorious review of this book. But when I start finding words to express what I feel, these are the words that find their way.

The Writing – (Spoilers)

Small things are human nature – the longing for love, belonging, and happiness. Big things are the pillars and structures that humans have built for no clear reason but to maintain authority, including casteism and racism.

The author shows clearly how the God of Small Things is crushed when the Big Things take the stage – and it is always the Big Things that get the center stage.

That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.

Not something a child would want to listen from her mother, and wonder if her mother loves her less. If her mother and her uncle, would always love the cousin of her more, a white girl more. Will she have to always wonder at things and be not careless in her childhood. Would she have to run away from people who constantly remind her, that she and her mother have no place in the house they live.

Estha Alone is a phrase often written by Arundhati, depicting how the child, in every sense, was left to figure out his own path. Be it the abuse he had to endure, the return he had to walk through – leaving his family, his world – with no guide but himself. Not a single word was uttered by him throughout the adult phase of his life. When he is returned, he simply admires his sister, finds the beauty of his mother in her, and holds the pain both women had to endure. No glimpse is offered into his inner world, yet his seems the shakiest of all, the most tumultuous.

The notion that a woman stops belonging to the family she was born into once she is married is one of the most depriving ideas a society can hold on to. Again, the Big Thing wins, and Ammu is left with no support or right to belong anywhere – only to suffer.

Life would be much easier if the Big Things could take a step back, and if we stopped giving them the space they least deserve. For all the time humans have known, we have fought – and for what? We die after all of it, leaving behind only memories in the minds of others who are also bound to die.

This book is great – thought-provoking, touching, and something that instills fear and anger at the same time.

Navigating Grief: A Candid Review of ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ by Joan Didion

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Do you remember that I had the goal of reading at least one of Joan Didion’s book in 2023, when the year began?

So here we go, let me embark on a heartfelt exploration of grief with Joan Didion’s ‘The Year of Magical Thinking.’ The book contained everything that a book on grief will venture upon, say the emotional depth, moments of reflection, but needless to say the narrative’s repetitive nature for emphasis, made me lose attention as well.

Compelling Introspection in Early Chapters

Didion’s eloquence invites readers to introspect on their own experiences of loss. The narrative skillfully captures the universal nature of grief, resonating with those who have navigated similar emotional landscapes.

In the opening chapters, Didion’s poignant prose captivates, into an introspective exploration of grief. Her raw and unfiltered reflections create a profound connection, making it a compelling read for anyone grappling with loss.

I was able to completely relate to her grief, it brought back my own memories, which I often wish, they were parts of a nightmare. The surrealness she describes, when she realizes her husband has passed away, not in the first night but in the upcoming nights, when she will be all alone, grappling the grief single-handedly is what the true form of grief seems like. One can not escape feeling sorry and heartbroken if they haven’t experienced such a personal loss.

Navigating the Labyrinth of Repetition

While the initial allure remains, the narrative encounters hurdles with repetitive content. The revisiting of certain themes may lead to occasional bouts of boredom, as the storytelling seemingly retraces familiar emotional territories.

Yet, as the narrative progresses, the recurrence of certain themes becomes apparent, posing a challenge to sustained engagement. The book revisits emotional landscapes, occasionally leading to a sense of monotony tested my patience.

An Unflinching Portrayal of Despair

As the story unfolds, a prevailing sense of hopelessness begins to overpower. Didion’s unflinching portrayal of grief can be emotionally taxing, making it a challenging read for those seeking a more uplifting perspective.

I read this book when I was reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin parallelly. In fact, the idea of reading this book was inspired by her book, which dedicates a chapter for gratitude and introspection. She explains how the grief memoirs made her feel the intensity of luck bestowed upon her. More on this book later…!

Hence, when I was reading with this mindset, the journey through ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ became increasingly challenging as a pervasive sense of hopelessness permeates the narrative. The emotional weight may be overwhelming for readers seeking a more balanced exploration of grief and healing.

‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ by Joan Didion offers a profound exploration of grief, prompting introspection and connection. However, the repetitive nature and the overarching sense of hopelessness may pose challenges for some readers, leading to moments of disengagement.

Rating: 3/5

Image credits: amazon

Everything I know about Love

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By Dolly Alderton

This is a memoir.

There were many times, when I was flabbergasted by the feelings portrayed by Dolly.

This book has sections as the cover of the book suggests – parties, dates, friends, jobs, life and finally love.

Dolly shares her 20s life in all of the above aspects, and how she grew as a person.

The parties

I can’t believe what I was reading whenever I come to this section. In simple words, she partied hard. She had a lot of fun in her high school and her college after spending her life in the all girls middle school. She did everything a partying person is supposed to do. She drinks like there is nothing left for tomorrow. Some of her drinking adventures are truly humorous and entertaining.

But later, as she grows, she realizes;

You have to choose which you’d rather be: the woman who parties harder than anyone else or the woman who works harder than anyone else. I decided to strive for the latter.

This all takes a major turn when she realizes that she doesn’t remember most of the conversations she has with her friends during drunken nights. But, I really wonder how she was able to write chapters in a book, especially hangover stories with such details.

Friends and Dates

I feel stories of her friends and her dates overlap in some aspects. It is very common to make mistakes while dating, and most of the times it is not because of incompatibility, rather it would be a mere lack of understanding. Dolly went through her break-ups in a very harsh manner, in one of which she developed an eating disorder. The way she explains how everyone reacts so differently for different scenarios of their life transforms the perspective. We can never truly understand what the other goes through clearly, but just try to support them the most we can.

There is so much she says I can’t possibly point them all and put forward what I felt through each of them. The plight of her best friend’s sister is truly heart warming. Times like these teach us that, everything will come to an end one day, be it a good one or a bad one. Whether we like it or not, it will have its time and that’s all there is to it.

The life and the love

Life is everything, especially in 20s, there is not a group of things we can point to and say, hey look, this is life. It is this now, and something later and life teaches us every moment that what we think, see and feel is just true to this moment and may not be the next.

Years later, I would discover that constantly behaving in a way that makes you feel shameful means you simply will not be able to take yourself seriously and your self-esteem will plummet lower and lower.

These words are true and there is always a hard way to understand and appreciate this.

I am right now in my 20s and I can’t imagine what tomorrow would be like. It is new and it is always new. Things are changing everyday and people around me are growing everyday. It is very hard to hold on to something and expect to reach the shore safe, when you don’t know what are you swimming in.

This memoir was very thought provocative, though I had a very less opinion of it when I started reading it. I guess, that’s how it was supposed to be.

Ending with another favorite quote from the book,

I am my own universe, a galaxy; a solar system. I am the warm-up act, the main event and the backing singers.

Rating: 4.5/5

BECOMING

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By Michelle Obama

It is quite difficult when you have a spouse whose dreams line with the welfare of the people and the world’s prosperity. It is difficult to figure what the world expects from you; it is difficult to figure what your close circle expects from you; After all it is difficult to understand what the inner you craves for yourself.

Michelle Obama, the former First Lady of the United States, in her memoir ‘Becoming’, describes her story.

So who is Michelle?

Michelle is someone who was born in Chicago with dreams of gaining respectable positions, propelled by great zeal towards learning and shaping herself. It sounds such a normal dream for us in the 21st century. But it is a crazy dream for people of color in the 1970s.

A four year old girl playing piano to a person with love for jazz. Michelle showed herself as a simple yet sophisticated person. I never knew about Michelle before, apart from her being the former FLOTUS.

This memoir, travels from a humble girl to one of the most respected women of the world. It was quite soothing to know that, she faced many vague days and wrong decisions, clearly telling life is all about the big picture and the people you love.

Her efforts towards obesity control in children of the US to being a mom of two teenage girls at the White House. Concerned if, the two beloved girls of hers will get adopted to the drastic transformations their parents put them through, both into and out of the White House is an extreme environment shift for anyone.

It is astonishing how she had put through the criticisms thrown her way. Her words expressing how she took care of them are surely true words of inspiration.

This book is simply an humble account of Michelle’s life in her own words.

Rating: 3.5/5

To read the book, buy them here.