Self Introspection is an inward-looking process where one tries to find what their own mind and emotions convey. Self Reflection and introspection differ in that, reflection often involves trying to understand the values and goals behind one’s actions whereas, introspection is about finding the inner desires and motivations. Introspection mostly involves looking inwards by meditation or sometimes having a time by self.
The books that encouraged me look inward, made me self reflect as well. Not all times, do our actions align with our selves.
1. Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a world striving for perfection – Haemin Sunim
This book was very kind to me, starting with self-care and it later moves on to the other aspects of life, which we overlook at that moment, but return back to them in memories. I would say it all starts with self-compassion, when I read the first part of the book, I was completely hooked, it made me view myself in a different way. I tried to be more accepting of myself and I tried to push myself forward with a small nudge, rather than beating myself up in the process.
The fact that relationships require effort, and it is sometimes fine, if we end up hurting others, meaning, we can’t be the 100% always someone expects of us and that is how it is. But, we must value others in the same time, it is not about being indifferent to others, it is more of value others and ourselves to take in.
Life is short and the world is whole lot larger. It is good to fail, even more better to heal.
When we become kinder to ourselves, we can become kinder to the world
2. Don’t Believe everything you think – Joseph Nguyen
I saw this everywhere as a tonic to overthinking, and it was precisely that.
The book starts with explaining, how pain and suffering differ. Pain is something that occurs often out of our control, but the latter is always under our control. It’s we who choose to suffer the pain or not.
The interpretation of the events define our perception and hence we choose to suffer or let go. It is our thinking that leads to it, rather than the thoughts themselves. Thoughts occur, but the thinking is our interference of them. We don’t have to think positively. We simply need not think at all. The author goes on explaining his point, with few exercises as well.
Our feelings guide us. The feelings that come above the surface when we are tranquil, devoid of anxiety. When we reach a state of no thought, otherwise termed as flow state, what we feel is often the answer for the questions we might have in mind. And this is how, we take the decisions, eliminating the thinking.
To be honest, it is very hard to practice this. It might sound simple, but not easy. I do overthink at times, switching off when the thinking carries me somewhere is tedious. But it has paid off well, when I did try.
There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so
3. The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – Mark Manson
This book’s tone is completely different from the above two, but meets them in the objective. I loved this book, because it was too straightforward at times. While the other books were gentle, this book calls you upon the wrong doings.
I have read Mark Manson’s blog before and liked some of those articles as well. Haemin Sunim said that suffering is your call, Mark Manson kind of meets at the same point and puts forward that it is because of the pain you learn and grow.
Being self-compassionate shouldn’t mean to keep you safe everywhere and be cautious. It is the opposite, it is the daring to do the things, choosing what you really value. When you can choose what you value, the other things become the last things on the planet and that’s how you eliminate giving a f*ck to them.
Mark puts forward five values – Responsibility, Doubts on self-beliefs, Failure, saying No, Commitment
These are kind of correlated if you try to elaborate. In that, taking responsibility to the actions and words, we might end up failing a lot. That only shows that we are trying and it is how you choose to take a hold on life. Failure makes us doubt what we believe, and hence we take those steps we hesitated before, assuming. Commitment and saying No go hand in hand. Getting a no, often leads to better things, or even if it doesn’t, it makes us see the world differently and better than before.
All in all, it was a packed book in itself and I loved every chapter of it.
In conclusion, self-help books are great when you need a piece of advice from someone. But the true impact lies in taking in and following them which you think might be helpful. If not, they are simply the rant of someone in a metro, you act like you care when you listen, but forget the minute you step out of the metro. It has got nothing on you.
Lit Loom 