Tag: reading

The Start Up of You

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by Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha

This is the book, I got so excited to read and got so disappointed after reading it.

I was looking for a book, that can instill the curiosity in me, in terms of my profession. I was thinking, after few years working in a large bank, structure seemed to have gotten boring to me, and I wanted a shake up. I am looking for opportunities that excite me and push me. But, that’s when I thought, with the years in such a structured world, if I try to navigate an unstructured environment, won’t I break systems and reduce my self-confidence. So I leaned into structure again.

I thought maybe I can prepare my mindset, to acknowledge the gaps I have right now and prepare myself to delve into growth and uncertainty. The top recommendation was this book 😦

Do I regret reading it? No, I would never say I regret reading a book.
If I am honest, I did have few takeaways from the book. The first 3 chapters were truly eye opening for me.
Assessing oneself with regards to aspirations and abilities, was something I needed to work on. Plan A, Plan B and Plan Z – are something everyone should think at every point in life. I learnt those via this book.

But after that, it is only disappointment to me, Hoffman rightly created LinkedIn, because he believed that networking can take you to places in the professional world, not thought of before. He is absolutely right about it and I completely agree. After all, the world still revolves people and systems created by the people, gaining trust and networking is what brings you the unexpected, usually hard to get / find fruit.

Later on, the whole book was about networking in various forms and phases and examples of how networking saved and brought opportunities to people.

That’s why it was a disappointing read to me, I had an objective to get out of this book and it did not provide me that.

And after all, Hoffman, makes it sound so easy to network and everyone has or finds the time and prioritizes this. I have heard that this is mostly a silicon valley experience. I am from India and I live and work in India. This doesn’t apply as he narrates.

So, there is an underlying culture difference between the US and India, with respect to experimentation. After being under colonial rule, Indians have rightly been conservative in their approaches and have taken the beaten up path for financial incentives. With few businesses, that flourished from the 70s to 90s, most of them were of manufacturing sector and some of them were even created by families that were already wealthy and thriving in businesses, and after 2000, India utilized the software industry but in terms of offering services, rather than building in-house tech first products, which involves the capital and risk, that Indians are conservative about. Of course, there are few exceptions, but this is the larger picture.

With initiatives for funding start ups, and building a community for founders, India is now creating a budding atmosphere for startups and experimentation. Still, a large majority of people would prefer a huge stable paycheck, than building something of their own, on their own and take the risks involved. They can’t be blamed, there are numerous families, who are just trying to escape the trap of being poor and trying to build something for themselves first. After all, survey shows that inequality in wealth distribution is at an all time high.

With the introduction, now when I say, it is hard to network with people purely with fascination towards the field, hope you can understand. I have tried. But, Indians are labelled as people who just take care of all on the off-shore activities, and moreover with the speeches on why 70hr and 90hr workweeks are essential to create value, that are given by the entrepreneurs of the country, where is the time to look beyond work and connect with people genuinely?

This is absurd, I started writing it as book review, but I think I am enraged on how work-life balance in India is a joke. When someone stands up for it, they are often punished or labelled. While the whole western world tries to move towards 4 day work week, American hustlers thought it is a good idea to work 9 to 9 for 6 days a week, and Indians have been doing the same, for cheap for so long.

When the people in the other countries get to experience the time, lifestyle and health alongside the work that pays them for all of it, Indians lose their health, become insanely obese, lose time for family and friends, let alone networking for work, there are no words to describe the lifestyle India has to offer. Of course, quick commerce and delivery options are available, they are just other means of consumptions that Indians pay for the lack of time and energy they have after toiling at work and again, this is eventually going to make them pay more hospital bills as well. Where is the good air to inhale, less commute time and better roads for the taxes paid? After all this, of course, it is good idea to work 70hr, yes.

This article was not supposed to be a rant on the Indian workplace, but after reading the book, I can’t but, just be frustrated about how Indians lose opportunities that another part of the world sees as normal. Any human can innovate, with the needs and the space, but not with the lack of time. Ideas do get born out of desperation, but not out of lack of enthusiasm. It is time to get back enthusiasm.

Thanks Reid for selling LinkedIn in a book to me.

3 books that made me Self – Introspect

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Self Introspection is an inward-looking process where one tries to find what their own mind and emotions convey. Self Reflection and introspection differ in that, reflection often involves trying to understand the values and goals behind one’s actions whereas, introspection is about finding the inner desires and motivations. Introspection mostly involves looking inwards by meditation or sometimes having a time by self.

The books that encouraged me look inward, made me self reflect as well. Not all times, do our actions align with our selves.

1. Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a world striving for perfection – Haemin Sunim

This book was very kind to me, starting with self-care and it later moves on to the other aspects of life, which we overlook at that moment, but return back to them in memories. I would say it all starts with self-compassion, when I read the first part of the book, I was completely hooked, it made me view myself in a different way. I tried to be more accepting of myself and I tried to push myself forward with a small nudge, rather than beating myself up in the process.

The fact that relationships require effort, and it is sometimes fine, if we end up hurting others, meaning, we can’t be the 100% always someone expects of us and that is how it is. But, we must value others in the same time, it is not about being indifferent to others, it is more of value others and ourselves to take in.

Life is short and the world is whole lot larger. It is good to fail, even more better to heal.

When we become kinder to ourselves, we can become kinder to the world

2. Don’t Believe everything you think – Joseph Nguyen

I saw this everywhere as a tonic to overthinking, and it was precisely that.

The book starts with explaining, how pain and suffering differ. Pain is something that occurs often out of our control, but the latter is always under our control. It’s we who choose to suffer the pain or not.

The interpretation of the events define our perception and hence we choose to suffer or let go. It is our thinking that leads to it, rather than the thoughts themselves. Thoughts occur, but the thinking is our interference of them. We don’t have to think positively. We simply need not think at all. The author goes on explaining his point, with few exercises as well.

Our feelings guide us. The feelings that come above the surface when we are tranquil, devoid of anxiety. When we reach a state of no thought, otherwise termed as flow state, what we feel is often the answer for the questions we might have in mind. And this is how, we take the decisions, eliminating the thinking.

To be honest, it is very hard to practice this. It might sound simple, but not easy. I do overthink at times, switching off when the thinking carries me somewhere is tedious. But it has paid off well, when I did try.

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so

3. The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – Mark Manson

This book’s tone is completely different from the above two, but meets them in the objective. I loved this book, because it was too straightforward at times. While the other books were gentle, this book calls you upon the wrong doings.

I have read Mark Manson’s blog before and liked some of those articles as well. Haemin Sunim said that suffering is your call, Mark Manson kind of meets at the same point and puts forward that it is because of the pain you learn and grow.

Being self-compassionate shouldn’t mean to keep you safe everywhere and be cautious. It is the opposite, it is the daring to do the things, choosing what you really value. When you can choose what you value, the other things become the last things on the planet and that’s how you eliminate giving a f*ck to them.

Mark puts forward five values – Responsibility, Doubts on self-beliefs, Failure, saying No, Commitment

These are kind of correlated if you try to elaborate. In that, taking responsibility to the actions and words, we might end up failing a lot. That only shows that we are trying and it is how you choose to take a hold on life. Failure makes us doubt what we believe, and hence we take those steps we hesitated before, assuming. Commitment and saying No go hand in hand. Getting a no, often leads to better things, or even if it doesn’t, it makes us see the world differently and better than before.

All in all, it was a packed book in itself and I loved every chapter of it.

In conclusion, self-help books are great when you need a piece of advice from someone. But the true impact lies in taking in and following them which you think might be helpful. If not, they are simply the rant of someone in a metro, you act like you care when you listen, but forget the minute you step out of the metro. It has got nothing on you.